A Troubled Past

The early days in the Northland were confusing and foreign. What was this strange place, Woodland? A tsunami of change ravaged Wicket. His nights engulfed in snappy repartee and political discourse at the pub. He quickly fell into a funk of sleeping and bingeing, and more sleeping.

A curse of his refined tastes, honed over the many years, only champagne dulled the pain. Everything irritated him. Especially the UPS man. Nothing boiled his Mandarin blood faster than the shifty stranger in brown shorts. The rage washed over him like a sea of molten lava that never ebbed.

Known in the clandestine services as "Double Aught Chi", Wicket poured himself into his work. He tortured and teased every animal and ornament he could get his paws on. He shredded each with the fury of a Tibetan sand storm, then tossed them aside, groaning and slobbery.

Then one day, four blue-eyed Australian beauties magically appeared and changed everything.